The Random Stories of Glyn-Joe Reid 01

As I sit in a corner I start to sink into a wall, my head slowly bumps onto the hard surface below. For a second i snap back into reality, then i realise where I am. Just as I turn my head to get my bearings of the surroundings, I appear in a jungle. I struggle to get to my feet. The tree branches begin to move, they threaten to hit me, as I try to counter the strike my arm snaps back, reminding me that my arms are restrained, I double back over and hit my head off the softly padded wall behind. Confusion has a hold of me i cannot discern what is reality and what isn’t, where am I, how did I get here, I am lost. The floor feels like a giant spiderweb and i’m getting stuck in. A ball of light from above blinds me, dazzles me. A clanging of keys tantalize my senses, throws me off-balance. water seamlessly trickles down my esophagus, food that feels like cardboard is being force-fed to me. The light vanishes and a gas slowly fills the room, my eyes grow heavy and my movements slow down. The room gets dark and my body turns lifeless.

The fly chronicles – Raymond and the car

There once was a fly that was big and fat

It was black and always sat on a hat

Till one day it smelled something nice

The rotten carcase of mice

It ate until his belly was full

It then had a rumble that started with a pull

The lining of its stomach tore to bear it seeds

The seeds that now sow the stories.

Out of the deepest darkest part of the mouse, Raymond was born. His body was heavy-set and he flew at a slow pace. Despite his slow flying, when he set his sights on something that he wanted he always managed to get it.

A smell seemed to dive him crazy, the smell was rich and foul all at the same time. The smell had him hooked, he was drawn in like two dog in mating season.

After a few minutes he arrived at a brown lump of gold. He wrapped his lips around the foul lump of brown gold and sucked until his belly was full. As he rested his body on the dog crap drunk from its foul nectar. A dark red car swerved down the road. The man in the car had one eye pointing to the sky and the other barely on the road and a tall white can seem to be fixed to his right hand.

Raymond could see the red car rushing towards him. He felt helpless and immobilized. Out of the deepest part of his soul he managed to move his wings. It was all too late for him as the car ran over the dog crap just as he got his wings working. The car carried on driving down the road with a patch of dog crap and a squashed fly on its wheel

Inner thoughts – Gluttony

What’s that? Huh you want something to eat, what would you like? Chocolate cake is it. Well you’re in for a treat. After the cake I’ll give you three packets of crisps, two chocolate bars, and fizzy drink and a big bag of sweets.  Did you hear that? It sounds like the phone, I would get it but this food, oh, this food is so good. I don’t think I’ll ever stop eating. What’s that? Oh it’s you, what do you want. That’s what you want. Why do you have to torture me with these pains to my internal organs? What has my stomach, liver and kidneys ever done to you but keep you well supplied. Ah well answer me. That right you can. Just relieve my bowels and be done with you, so I can eat some more.

Inner thoughts – Lusting

Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women'...

Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women's Sexual Fantasies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Oooooh weee he looks good, damn. I wish I could have a piece of that. Look at the sweat trickling down his well-defined chest and his tight bum checks. Oh my, he’s just my type. I better look away before my husband sees me. I want to look away but that edible brown skin has me trapped. Oh, and his back. Oh, his back. Come on now, I need to look away now. But I can’t stop thinking about him on top of me, pinning me down with his big strong arms, kissing my neck, kissing my stomach and kissing my thighs. I need to calm down. Look away, look away. Remember I’m a married woman. Okay I’m fine now. Wait who’s that up there? I hope my husband doesn’t catch me.  If he does he just has to deal with because I’m going to get my look on anyway.

Inner thoughts – The sloth

What’s on the TV? Oh, it’s this. Where’s the remote. There it is. Where’s my wife when I need her. Not here as always, Swanning off with her girlfriends, I hope. Well it looks like I have to watch this, I know I have seen it twice already but who’s counting. What do you want now? Why are you always rumbling for? I fed you five minutes ago. Why do you do this to me? Okay, okay I’ll feed you, the crisps are here. Hmm, then I got chocolate, cola and sweets. Afterwards I’ll phone the Chinese or maybe the Indian. Well whatever I decide you will be the first to know. Oh. Oh. Oooooooooh, I hope you don’t want what I think you want. Oh, I think you do. Well I hope you know that I’m not moving. Now that I emptied you, what am I going to do with this bucket? I’ll just leave it, she will clean it up. I’m still watching this, oh well. I’ll get the remote when the takeaway comes.

Inner thoughts – Man abroad

I can’t wait it’s only a few more hours before I land. Can’t wait, can’t wait. I finally get to see dad for the first time. I hope he recognises me. These people need to hurry up, I need my bags. My dad is waiting. I have got to go. Ah the fresh French air with a hint of dog excrement, just how my mother described it. Where did I have to go? Ah, this is the bus. Why can’t these people speak English? Oh, my head is paining me. I think I’m lost but these people don’t understand me and I don’t understand them. Where’s my dad when I need, nowhere to be found. just like the rest of the times in my life. Oh, I wish my mother was here. Oh, I want to go back home. Forget my dad.

Inner thoughts – Poor guy

What am I going to do today? The same thing I always do. Try to find or make some money so I can eat. Boy, I wish I had done some things differently; I should have been a pilot by now, if it wasn’t for that brother of mine. Why the hell am I thinking about that fool? I miss him though. I wish I could just go up to him and ask him to forget about all the stuff that happened in the past. All this thinking isn’t going to fill my belly. Yes. There’s a man coming this way. I need to ask him for money, but I don’t want to. Stop, stop your damn rumbling. I don’t want the man to hear it. Why are people so stuck up? How do I get out of this situation? If the doctors can’t me, no one can. Someone help me.

Inner thoughts – Guy being cheated on

Okay, okay, she cheating on me I know she is. She doesn’t even need to tell me I already know. If I find this guy I’m going to slap him up. Forget that I’m going to slap her up; she’s taking the piss out of me, this cannot continue. When she comes home I’m going to sit in this chair with the light off, talk in a calm voice and call her over. At the point ill explode on her tell he that she’s this and she’s that and I want her out of my house. Or I might just throw all her clothes out of the window and change the locks and just ignore her until she leaves me alone.

Inner thoughts – Drug dealer

What am I going to do today? I have no money, no food and no nothing. I’m going to have to phone my cousin to make him break me off some. It kills me to do it thought. Oh forget it let me just do. I got the stuff, what now? This guy is taking the piss, he’s been holding my money for weeks, it’s about time I pay him a visit. I’m going to take this bar and do in his kneecaps and then I’m going to run up in his house take all his things, sell them and become rich. Yeah that’s what I’m going to do. Wait there he don’t have anything in his house, I’ll just beat him up and take my money.